We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Sorry about my life...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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