The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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