Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize