I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
