I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
