I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
