Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
