Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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