I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
