I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
