I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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