I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
