You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
i think i just lost a toe
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
