Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Sponge bath it is.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
