The brown eye won't let me do that either.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize