I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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