My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
