so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i was born a porn star she said
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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