I can't watch pbs sober anymore
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
