you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
