btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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