I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
