I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize