Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
