Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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