this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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