i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
It's Friday. Sex?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
