i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
