508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
