I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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