Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
