Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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