Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
