Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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