Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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