I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
