The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
