420 ftw
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
