i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
