My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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