shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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