Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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