Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
