I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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