He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
