So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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