please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
