Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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