I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
