Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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