Plan B is the new Plan A
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
