They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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