So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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