We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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