whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Randomize
