i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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