And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
