Where is the hickey?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My penis needs a shock collar
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
