what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
