cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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