Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Someone shit on the floor
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Still dying that you shit outside
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
