I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Boobs speak an international language.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
