tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I love you.
Bad choice
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
