she looked like the bat from fern gully.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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